My Newbie's First Rant
by Bells of Tomorrow
Summary: I'm almost tempted to glance towards the window in search of a fiery meteor headed straight for earth, because surely this is the end of the world. Based off of "My TCW" from season two.


**_A/N:_**_ So, I received a message from _**The ****Butterfly Mistress**_ asking if I could try writing something based off of JD's speech at the end of the episode, "My TCW," from season two. That has always been a favorite Scrubs moment of mine, I've just never sat down and thought about it story wise. Anyway, I really liked the suggestion, so here I am, attempting to give it a try. lol Hope you guys enjoy it. :) _

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I own a very large nothing._

**_Warning:_**_ Mild language._

**My Newbie's First Rant**

It's one of those days where I wind up eating lunch around the same time as Newbie and his gal pals. I never do it on purpose, but sometimes, the schedules just work out that way. Hell, it could be worse. I could be eating at a table with Beelzebub.

I'm sure to pick a table close enough to them so that I can hear the conversation (not that I actually, you know…_care_ about what's going on in their lives) while at the same time keeping a good distance away so that I'm not obligated to join in on any of their jabbering. I honestly don't plan to take part in their gossiping at all, but when Carol blurts out the most recent happenings about his sad excuse for a love life, the whole table goes up into a tizzy. Usually, I couldn't care less about who Newbie's having whiny, neurotic sex with, but this is admittedly interesting.

After the kid announces his up-coming date with Jamie, Gandhi has to explain to a confused Carla who the woman is, while Barbie steps up to the plate with her overly-shocked explanation of "What!?" It's around this time where I decide to jump into the conversation myself. "Nice job there, Hooch. I'll tell you what – you give me a little prep time and I'll rig it so that the husband can come with ya'. Honest to God, I'll have him sitting up right next to ya', no problemo. Whaddya' say?"

I wait for a response, but instead I see Newbie looking nervously over his shoulder. After a moment he mumbles something I can't quite make out from where I'm currently seated, but I roll my eyes anyway, knowing full well it was just another stupid day dream of his.

When he finally snaps out of it, Carla is the first to pounce. "I can't believe you, Bambi!"

I'm actually a little surprised when the kid's best friend decides to join in on the ridiculing as well. "She is so right, man."

I'm _not_ surprised, however, when Barbie speaks up. Her look of disgust since Patricia first announced his soon-to-be date has been more than obvious. "What are you thinking!?"

I hate to admit it – and I really do mean hate - but they're right. I mean, c'mon…who dates a woman whose husband is currently laying in a coma, especially when the hospital he's occupying is the same hospital you work at? Still, I don't want to leave the impression that I actually care who he does and does not go out with, so I just go for mocking him instead. "Oh, Rin tin, tin, tin, tin, tin, tin -"

And that's when it happens. Newbie snaps.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP AND SHUT UP, OKAY!? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is just _bitch_ about your relationships all - day - long!"

I don't have the time to respond, because suddenly he's walking right towards me; confidant and angry, and I gotta tell ya' – I'm just not used to seeing Newbie like this. Hell, I didn't even think it was possible. I glare as he approaches, getting ready to say something full of sarcasm, but he's quick to cut me off.

"And you know what? Glare all you want, Big Dog, 'cause I'm not afraid of you."

Alright, that's bullshit. He knows it and so does everybody else, but right now, he's so full of adrenaline that it might just actually be true. My suspicions are confirmed when his voice takes on a higher pitch, face turned into an expression that is cla-_hearly_ supposed to be mocking me.

"'Oh no! Jordan's only paying attention to the baby!' That must be so hard for doctor, 'Look at me!' isn't it? 'Look at _meee!_'"

My shock that he really did just openly mock me out weighs the anger by a mile. I stare, wide eyed, as he makes his way back over to the table where all his friends look just as stunned as I do.

"And you two? What, you're arguing since you got engaged? Wow, you're probably the first couple that's ever done that _ever_. It can't be that you're just scared, is it?"

Newbie? Lecturing Carla and his number one Sorority Sister? I'm almost tempted to glance towards the window in search for a fiery meteor headed straight for earth, because _surely_ this is the end of the world. I don't though. Instead, I watch him turn angrily towards Barbie.

"And you. You know what? Let's just, let's just forget for _one second_ that a month ago, you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me? It's actually fun to watch you sabotage your relationship from the outside, it really is."

I expect Barbie to whine and cry and throw her fists in the air, but instead, she just nods, her gaze meeting his own. Her jaw that's usually open and flailing about is so tight that I'm sure a few teeth must be cracking under the pressure.

Suddenly, he turns to us all. I think maybe he's done, but I'm wrong.

I really hate being wrong.

"Honestly? The only thing that gives me comfort you guys? Is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just _wishing_ that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!"

We all watch as he storms out of the cafeteria, letting out another aggravated scream as he does so. We're stunned into silence, even when Laverne walks by, asking if she's missed something good. None of us respond. We can't. I mean did that…did that just actually _happen?_

I glance up from my seat at the table to peer over at the others. The looks on their faces tell me that yes – yes that _did_ just happen. Newbie showed something other than his usually optimistic, rainbow and sunshine self, and I don't think anyone was quite prepared for it.

Gandhi looks incredibly guilty, and I wonder if this is the first time he's ever seen his best friend act like that. I'm sure the fact that he was part of the reason for the kid's explosion doesn't help the guilt much either.

Carla looks ashamed. I think she's so used to playing mother around here that she's not used to being lectured herself, especially by the kid who really does look at her in such a way. I think what's worse is that she knows he's right.

Barbie's head is down, and all she seems capable of doing is poking angrily at her food. I can't tell if she's angry at Natalie or herself. Probably both.

What scares me though, and I mean what _really_ scares me, is that I'm feeling anything at all. I get why Newbie's fan club is feeling guilt ridden. They're his friends. Of _course_ they're going to feel like that. But me? I shouldn't be feeling guilty over here. I'm not the kid's friend, I'm not the kid's…I'm not the kid's anything, right? A little voice in the back of my mind tries telling me otherwise. I do my best to wave it away, but it's extremely persistent, and after what just happened, well…it's kind of hard to ignore.

I feel like a complete and utter ass, and I feel that way because of how angry Newbie is. I feel that way because I've let myself get close enough to the kid where I'm feeling anything at all. I feel that way because I've never seen him rant like that; never seen him so full of unrestrained frustration.

The twisted part of me wants to go find him just so I can clap and cheer my approval, because trust me…I know a good rant when I see one. But I don't like the way anger and Newbie mix together. It's not him, it's not right. Newbie may be a pain in the ass, but at least he's an optimistic pain in the ass. It's something I've proclaimed to hate on more than one occasion, but truthfully…truthfully, it's one of the reasons I can – let's say – _tolerate_ the kid at all. This hospital needs that kind of person around here.

I…I need that kind of…

I don't allow myself to finish the rest of that sentence, but I don't have to. Everyone's beginning to get up now. They dump the rest of their un-eaten food in the trashcan and walk out quietly. I sit there for another ten minutes before getting up and leaving myself.

I wonder how exactly this turn of events is going to play out.

--

The next day is like nothing ever happened at all. I'm sure Newbie must've talked it out with Carla and Gandhi back at their poor excuse for an apartment, because the three of them seem to be getting along just fine. When the kid sees Barbie at the nurse's station though, there's a moment where all they can do is just stare at one another. The tension is very strong and very there, but then Gloria offers her a small smile, and Blondie offers one right back. The thick air melts away with the wordless exchange, and now all that's left is me and Newbie.

The kid doesn't even look at me though, and I'm pretty sure that lower lip of his is quivering. I roll my eyes, remembering his, "I'm not afraid of you," line from yesterday. Like I said: bullshit.

I'm not good at this emotional crap though, and I'd much rather just leave it alone, but at the same time…at the same time…

I turn away from the chart I'd been inspecting to look at him. He feels me staring, and very hesitantly turns to meet my gaze. His mouth is open, flapping like a fish, and I know he's trying to think of something to say that won't get him in a mess of trouble that he probably thinks he's already in.

I prevent him from speaking as I walk towards my next patient's room, but I'm sure to give him a casual pat on the shoulder as I do so. "Morning, Newbie."

I can feel his head turn sharply in my direction, trying to make sure that he didn't just imagine the quick exchange that was my apology slash forgiveness.

I turn into my patient's room, but not before glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. His baby blues are practically _glowing_ as he rubs the back of his neck shyly. He doesn't see me watching him, taking him in, but that's a good thing. That's a _very_ good thing.

I still don't know what it was that got into Newbie yesterday, but whatever it was, I'm admittedly relieved that it got right the hell back out. This hospital needs that bubbly headed idiot. _I_ don't of course, but the hospital does. Yeah…just the hospital.

**_A/N:_**_ Well, hope you guys liked it! And I hope you're not disappointed, _**The Butterfly Mistress_. _**_I had to watch that clip on YouTube a couple of times to get it all right and to get myself in the right frame of mind for writing this, so I hope it turned out well. Until next time!_


End file.
